How does it feel to claim compensation on behalf of your child?

There are many situations that have us questioning: “what would I do if I were in that position?”

Of course, it’s easy to fantasize about how you would react in certain circumstances, but you can never know what you would do until it happens to you.

For instance, what would you do if your child has been irrecoverably injured because of someone’s negligence, and their life will never be the same?

In this article we hear from someone who has, unfortunately, had to answer that question for themselves.

Most people in that situation only have a couple of choices, and one of them is to make a compensation claim against those who were responsible to try and secure the financial help they need to make their loved one’s quality of life as good as possible.

However, those on the outside sometimes think going through that process is nothing more than instructing solicitors, putting your feet up and waiting for the huge windfall.

So what is it really like? We wanted to offer an honest and transparent account of how it feels to go through this process. Choosing to pursue compensation on behalf of a loved one can be difficult in many ways you would never have imagined. But hopefully after all said and done, it’s all worth it.

Anna and Claire’s story

During the delivery of baby Anna, there was a lack of oxygen to her brain and she sustained a brain injury, later diagnosed as cerebral palsy.

Anna, now approaching her tenth birthday, must use a wheelchair, and will remain dependent on her parents and carers for the rest of her life.

Claire, Anna’s mother, began working with us when Anna was around three months old. Claire and her husband had noticed in the preceding three months that there was something very wrong, but they were getting mixed messages and a lot of resistance from hospital staff when the family tried to discuss the matter. Claire said:

I knew that it would be something we’d have to investigate.

After a brief explanation of the family’s circumstances, our clinical negligence solicitors agreed that they should definitely dig deeper. Claire had already began ordering her daughter’s sizeable medical records and notes from the hospital, but things were moving frustratingly slowly before our solicitors got involved and the defendant appointed a solicitor of their own. She added:

It was a relief to have someone involved who didn’t have the emotional investment we had

But just because things started moving more quickly after instructing solicitors, it doesn’t mean pursuing a compensation claim was an easy decision to make.

One of the biggest barriers that Claire had to overcome before deciding to start the process of a compensation claim was feeling uncomfortable about starting litigation against a public service organisation that she was, and still is, grateful for.

I’m very grateful to the NHS; I don’t like the idea of placing blame and litigation. It was very uncomfortable for us - a very difficult time. My husband was working away through the week and I was looking after Anna on my own. It was clear that she would be severely disabled and I was sure it was as a result of her birth.

But because there was a lot of anger attached to what happened, I knew that if we started litigation a lot of upsetting things would come out. We had to prepare ourselves for that, but when you’re in that situation you don’t really know how to. So we just had to go into it.

If we didn’t, the level of damage done to Anna would mean that all our lives were completely changed. We needed help - without it we would be sacrificing our daughter’s future and our own, which would be foolhardy. And I’m not interested in being a martyr either. Starting a claim didn’t sit very well with me, but at least I knew I was doing the right thing by my daughter.

Giving up your independence

Claire says she also felt somewhat ashamed at the notion of her and her husband not being able to bring up Anna independently, without outside help.

You start out thinking you can be completely independent bringing up your children and don’t need anyone’s help. But with the level of disability my daughter has, this was the only route we could take. Anna is unlikely to be able to support herself in later life and that puts enormous pressure on all of us.

We will constantly have visits from health and educational professionals, and we spend so much time in the hospital. It would be beyond the means of most people to give her a good life. But it means a loss of independence - it’s terrifying.

Re-establishing a social life

Another thing that many people who have never been in the situation may not understand is that re-establishing a social life is extremely important, but can be tough at first.

It’s difficult to have any kind of social life within the home, especially in the early years when we had little help. You have to have friends who understand your situation and aren’t fazed by a screaming or a vomiting child. They have to understand that even as guests their needs are going to have to come second. To re-establish a social life and a family life, with our daughter at the centre, was very important to us.

“A pretty crummy lottery to win”

What can also make it difficult to re-establish a social life is people’s attitudes towards compensation, whether they are strangers or friends.

Claire says that it’s misleading when a headline compensation figure is reported, because people don’t understand the costs that has to cover, and for how long.

It can be frustrating and demoralising at times. We are private, and proud, people - we would have been happy not to have this situation.

It is surprising how many people begrudge those who have had successful clinical negligence claims. Some friends’ attitudes changed and we found that very upsetting.

The general perception is that you will be buying a Ferrari with the money. People think it’s winning the lottery. Well it’s a pretty crummy lottery to win.

“The right thing for our daughter”

Claire says that despite the difficulties - some expected, some unexpected - of claiming compensation for her daughter and family, it is all worth it. At the end of the day, they had to make the right decision for their daughter.

Now the family have help from carers at home, while Anna has her educational needs met at school. Where they live has great access to amenities, an impressive medical practice, good transport links and a friendly community.

What’s more, the compensation has allowed them to completely adapt a property to make sure Anna has a permanent home that offers her the best possible quality of life. There she can get the treatment she needs but also relax and pursue the things that make her happiest.

Without it, life would have been significantly more difficult for Anna, Claire and the rest of their young family.