Impact of disability on the family, not just the individual

Whilst attending the fantastic Breaking More Boundaries Conference on Friday 7th October, one of the afternoon sessions got me thinking about my own life.

The focus the session was on families and looking at the impact brain injury has, not just on the individual, but on their friends and family.

This really struck a chord with me as my younger sister as an acquired brain injury from birth and has been left with a multitude of disabilities.

The sessions looked at families working together in therapy, parents ensuring they made time for all their children and the careful balance this requires. The sessions were then concluded with a young man talking about his brain injured brother and how the injury and accident affected his life as well as his brother’s life.

It’s so easy I think to focus on the individual with the injury and, to an extent, that’s how it should be. The injured party needs all the help and support they can get to allow them to achieve their full potential following an injury but I don’t believe this should be at the expense of those around them.

As a child I knew that my family was different. I had a younger sister like many of my school friends but my sister needed to be in hospital a lot and that meant one or both of my parents staying with her whilst I stayed at home with wider family or with friends at their homes.

My parents did all they could do to try and keep my life as “normal” and stable as possible irrespective of what they were dealing with in terms of my sister’s needs, something I’m sure would have been very difficult for them.

Working with people with brain injuries and their families on a daily basis as a clinical negligence solicitor has given me a whole new perspective on how my parents dealt with those early years managing with my sister’s various disabilities whilst making sure that life went on as normal for me. I have a huge admiration for all they did for me whilst living their worst fears as parents never knowing if their child was going to survive.

Unfortunately no-one was able to offer my parents any support; they had to struggle through on their own, a fact that almost brought them to breaking point on many occasions. This lack of support for families is something which Dr Audrey Daisley, a Clinical Psychologist and Family Therapist, spoke passionately about during the Breaking More Boundaries Conference.

Dr Daisley outlined her work as a family therapist supporting those families who have been affected by brain injury to help them all come to terms with what has happened and keep the family dynamic together. Her talk was a real inspiration and highlighted her belief that by protecting the family unit with appropriate support the brain injured person has a better chance of achieving their potential.

The Breaking More Boundaries conference was an inspirational day all round and, on a personal note, it reminded me of how much my own family has overcome dealing with brain injury and given me even more respect and admiration for the hard work and determination of my family to be a “normal” family no matter the difficulties faced.